Feeling Gratitude during the Hectic Holidays

The holidays are upon us! We  look forward to the extended time off,  busy holidays, and being thankful for time with family and friends – or most of it anyway.  

Shopping,  cooking,  company,  family, and more! The holidays present activities and expectations that can create stress or even guilt. We are not all going to have a Hallmark Moment Holiday!  

How can we find ways to have  quiet time and gratitude  for all  we do have?

Gratitude is a deliberate and active practice for any time, but especially when times are busy and stressful due to family/personal difficulties,  hectic  holidays,   or troubling world news.   It is easy to feel overwhelmed and forget the good things that will endure. 

I only have to view a news program to remind myself to be grateful for a place to live, food to eat,  and people to be with,  because so many people are tragically going without those basic comforts.  We can’t control all that is chaotic in the world, but we can take steps to make our worlds a little calmer and more appreciated.

Some positive activities and thoughts for  the holidays:

• As a family,  donate some items that you no longer use.  Organizations are always looking for clothes, household items, etc.  This also helps children understand what to be grateful for that others are not always as fortunate as we are.   Charitable organizations  are always grateful for donations of time or food  if you are able.
• Remember those who are alone for the holiday. Send a card to someone you miss.  Call family who are far away.  Bring dessert to a neighbor.
• Take a break. Go outside and play football with the family or take a walk.   You will all remember playing and looking at nature as much as the wonderful meals.
• Count your blessings — and not just the big ones! Make this a practice for every day.  Oprah Winfrey often suggested thinking of three things a day to be grateful for.  Some people like to write them down.  Being able to get out of bed, walk, speak, and eat are things we take for granted most of the time. Be mindful of them during these distracting times. Name the people who care about you.  Don’t forget small things like getting a hug, making someone smile, walking your dog, accomplishing a routine task.
• What about big, family dinners? Take charge of things you worry will be problematic.  Plan ahead for seating.  Decide who will do best sitting with whom.  Have children make place cards for guests.  Find ways for children to be included – then set them free.  Holiday meals can be a long stretch for kids.  Plan something fun for them to do when the adults are lingering at the table, after the meal.   Have a simple craft project set up or a familiar movie for them to watch.  Ask willing teens or adults to take a turn supervising or playing with the younger ones.  Sharing the load is something to be grateful for, too!
• Have a guest who likes to be a food critic? Ask them to bring a special dish to share. Too busy or tired to bake? Take a breath and pick up some prepared desserts.  Everyone will be just as happy. Guide the conversation topics, and steer away from hot topics like politics. Turn off the world and the television.   Have everyone name something they are grateful for.  Although it may seem corny, it is interesting and uplifting to hear what others name, and it reminds us what to add to our own list.

Studies have shown that cultivating gratitude in daily life contributes to a more positive mood and a greater sense of emotional contentment.  If it can help us in daily life, imagine the benefits for busy holiday times!

By Allison Weideman, Chatham school psychologist

Pets & Children with Special Needs

Thinking about a pet for your family?  Pets can be a wonderful addition to a family for many reasons and have a positive benefit, especially for children with special needs. 

Research involving children with autism has found that having a family pet from a young age tended to improve social behaviors, such as introducing themselves, asking for information or responding to people’s questions.

The fact that animals are non-verbal can be a positive and soothing factor for children with sensory or communication issues As we pet owners know, there are many lessons a child can learn through pet ownership and care. 

The benefits of pets include:

• Relief from anxiety and stress.
• Learning about compassion and emotions.
• Greater emotional knowledge about companionship, building a bond and making a friend.
• Encouraging socialization and development of related social skills.
• Understanding rules and chores in a concrete way.

Before you jump into adopting a pet, recognize that owning a pet is a lifetime commitment. Like any long-term decision, advance thought and preparation is key!

Also, consider adopting a rescue animal, but carefully evaluate if this choice is  suitable for your child. There are many wonderful dogs and cats patiently waiting for a “forever” home at your local animal shelter or pet adoption agency. 

Choosing the Right Pet

Dogs and cats are popular pets for good reason. Dogs come in all sizes and personalities. They provide unconditional love and acceptance; enjoy being touched; can play with the family, and can go places with you.

Dogs do require a high level of care, such as regular walking, brushing, and training. It is important to research breeds that are child-friendly and suitable for your home and lifestyle. Consider whether barking or dog play behavior might frighten your child.

You may be surprised to learn that there are more pet cats than dogs across the county. Cats are the top choice in part because they require much less daily care and are less expensive to own than dogs. They also live longer, on average, because they are smaller than most dogs. 

If you are considering a cat, just as with dogs, it is important to find the right match. Cats tend to have distinct personalities and don’t exhibit the same type of behavior as dogs. As cat lovers know, cats are affectionate, friendly and will bond with you. They enjoy closeness and petting and play.

However, cats do not roughhouse like dogs. Cats tend to be more quiet and sensitive than canine companions. For those reason, cats can be a good choice for a sensory -sensitive child who might be frightened by loud barking, jumping and lively dog behavior.

Not all children, or adults, are comfortable with animals. This can create a very stressful situation for both people and pets! If you are in doubt about your child’s comfort level with any animal, it is not the time to bring home a pet.

If you would like to have some type of pet experience in your home, fish may be the answer. Fish are low maintenance pets, and watching water movements has been found to be soothing. No guessing why they are the No. 1 pet in America!

Fish, require maintenance and good, consistent care. Learning responsibility is important, but as the parent, you will always need to monitor and supervise the care and ensure the safety of both your child and your pet. Small, furry pets such as guinea pigs and hamsters are often appealing. However, they have to be handled very gently and care must be taken to have their cages always locked, so escape or unwanted attention from other pets does not occur.

No matter what you decide, a good suggestion is to expose your child to the pets you are considering before you bring one home. Here are some ways to check out pets:

• Spend some time with friends who have pets, visit a rescue group or foster a dog before adopting.
• Prepare your child by reading some books about pets together.
• Create a checklist, social story, or visual images of what to expect and how to behave with your pet.

Additional articles on this topic:

• Children with autism who live with pets are more assertive.
• Pets for children with autism and special needs.
• Animal BFFs: Pets help kids with special needs

By Allison Weideman, ECLC Chatham School Psychologist

Let’s Plant a Sensory Garden!

What is a Sensory Garden? A sensory garden is meant to appeal to ALL the senses, not only our visual sense. They are often utilized with special needs populations and are found to have therapeutic value for many individuals.

We are most familiar with the sights of a garden. Enhance the visual appeal with plants of varying flower colors, including red, soft grey and mixed color foliage. Consider plants with different textures and shapes and some (like grasses and tall plants) that will sway with the breeze.

The sense of sound will be enhanced with features, such as wind chimes,  grasses that rustle and textured paths that make sounds as you walk on them. Having a birdbath will add bird calls and visual interest. If you have a pathway, incorporate  gravel or stones that produce sound when walking.

For the sense of touch, include plants that can tolerate some touch and “petting.” Hosta, coneflowers and yarrow are all quite tolerant of touching. Vary the textures of plants, so that you have some smooth leaves and flowers and some larger or fuzzy textures (purple sage). Some plants are just fun to touch, such as lamb’s ears, astilbe (with its fern-life foliage) and sunflower heads.

For the sense of smell, choose plants with appealing scents, such as roses, lily of the valley, honeysuckle, and the annual nicotinia, which produces a scent at night. Grow some annual herbs, such as mint, thyme or rosemary. Pick them for a salad or crush the leaves in your hands to experience the scent.

What are native plants and why should I have them? Native plants and trees grow naturally in a geographic area, and provide food and sustenance to birds and butterflies.  Many of the plants and trees we see in garden centers are lovely, but they are not native to the United States. They don’t provide the needed support for our native wildlife and are not as hardy.

Consider plants, such as coneflowers, sunflowers, yarrow, hosta, beebalm, coreopsis, veronica and native blueberry shrubs. Any variety of milkweed is an important food plant for monarch butterflies. These are all perennials, so they return each year.

How to get started! Planting and tending a garden is a wonderful child and family-friendly activity,  and a fantastic way to welcome Spring! And, of course, when your plants and flowers come into bloom, you can enjoy them all season. Whether you want flowers or food,  there are easy growers to get start started on this Spring.

A garden can be a large plot of ground, or as simple as a container or a flower pot.  It can be fancy or as simple as three ingredients (pot, soil and seeds).

There are many seeds that will grow well  when planted directly in the garden. Some easy and hardy annual  flower seeds are zinnias,  sunflowers, marigolds, cleome and alyssum. Seeds are available at garden centers,  home stores and even some supermarkets.

It’s fun to look through the seed packages together and decide what to grow. Easy, high-producing vegetables include tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers and zucchini, which are easily planted from small containers. If you are adventurous, hot pepper varieties are pretty. Luckily, all seed packets have instructions! Watering and weeding your garden are two activities everyone can do together. And, then, pick some flowers for your table, or make a salad, and enjoy what you have created!

 

Among many flowering native shrubs you can consider planting is this gorgeous Hydrangea quercifolia plant!

For further information:

10 Steps to Building a Garden.

Top 10 Native Plants for the Northeast.

10 Plants for a Bird-Friendly Yard.

Why Native Plants Matter 

Sensory Nature Adventures and Play – for families of children with disabilities.  

Gardens for the Senses. 

Written by Allison Weideman, Chatham School Psychologist

 

 

How to Increase Your Child’s Attention and Focus

Staying focused can be challenging for any child but particularly those with special needs. But there are tools and techniques to help keep your child happy and on task!

Find a tool or technique from the list below. Then, start your child with a task they enjoy for up to 20 minutes. Take a break, using one of the techniques, whether it’s a time clock, weighted blanket or music. If it works, have your child try a task they perceive as more difficult for 5 to 10 minutes, followed again by or using one of these techniques.  Repeat this strategy until you see that your child is able to show improved attention. Gradually increase the time on task.

Here are tools and techniques to try at home:

Visualize Time — A timer can reduce stress for your child, as they see how long they have until a task is over. You can go low-tech or high. Time Timer makes a clock as well as software for the computer, which shows a child how much time he/she has left — or how much has passed — via a diminishing red disc. Search for “visual timer” apps on your iPhone, iPAD or Android device. Or, an old-fashioned sand timer does the trick too.

Play Memory Games — Memory isn’t a muscle, but it can be exercised to improve focus. Memory games are fun and do not have to be complicated. Games, such as memory matching cards or Concentration, can be played as a board game or on an iPad/iPhone or Android device. Even a simple game of red-light, green-light, I-Spy or Simon Says forces a child to concentrate.

Puzzles — There are many types of puzzles that can help boost your child’s awareness, while building fine motor skills. But keep in mind that puzzles don’t always have to be something you touch. For example, word searches, crossword puzzles, tic tac toe and logic puzzles, use the power of deduction to help your child discover answers, by relying on the mind, not just eyes and hands.

Movement and Breaks — Give your child opportunities to move around. Schedule regular breaks and change work sites. For example, a child can work several minutes at the kitchen table and several minutes at the dining room table. Each time the location is changed, the student may experience a burst of mental energy. A 10- to 15-minute break for light to heavy physical activity can also help increase concentration.  Examples of activities include walking on a treadmill, wall push-ups or a brief walk. Learn about relaxation through breathing techniques at “Go Zen Mindfulness and Breathing.”  Additionally, it may help for children to do something with their hands, while seated. They might doodle, roll a piece of clay or play with thinking putty.

Deep Pressure — A weighted blanket/pillow used for 10 to 20 minutes, while working can provide deep pressure and increase attention.  Additionally, compression tops, like those worn by athletes underneath their shirts, may work similar to a weighted blanket/pillow. Have your child wear the shirt for 10 to 20 minutes.

Tuning In — Taking a 10-minute break to listen to quiet classical or calming music can help a child refocus to a task that may be difficult or monotonous but necessary to complete.

In addition to these techniques and tools, setting up a regular routine and work area is important.

Plan It — A child should use a structured daily planner to help them organize activities. A planner that is broken down by days of the week or days of the month and has sufficient room to write all the information needed or to place stickers in the date box is preferred. Using a calendar or a calendar app on an iPhone, iPad or Android device is also a good life skill.

Child’s Home Office — Help your child set up a well-organized “office.” Parents should schedule a weekly time that their child/adolescent will dedicate to straightening up the office and making sure all office supplies are well-stocked (e.g., Post-Its, pencils, pens, highlighters, paper, paper clips, etc). The child should find their best time(s) for studying (most alert times of day), and post these times as their “Office Hours.” This may also be a good time to experiment with different kinds of background noise levels that work best for doing homework. Some children/adolescents concentrate better in a noisy environment or while listening to music, while others may need to use ear plugs or sound blockers.

Results will not be immediate, but with practice and consistency, your child’s attention and focus should increase over time!

By Cindy Collins, Learning Disabilities Teacher Consultant, ECLC Chatham School

5 Easy Tips to Help Your Child with Special Needs Gain Independence

We often hear questions from parents about how they can help prepare their child for the transition to adult life.  One of the best ways to accomplish this is by offering the most amount of independence as possible with tasks at home and out in the community.  Some of these tasks include:

• Morning Routine: Give your child the greatest amount of independence, as you safely can. Having them wash, brush their teeth, pick out outfits and dress themselves is a great way to start the day. Having your child prepare a simple breakfast, such as cereal and juice, is another way to build independence.
• Schedule: Have them pay attention to the clock for bus arrival, etc.
• Chores: Get them to put away personal items and make their bed, for example.
  
• Mealtime Manners: Some ideas are to learn how to use a napkin, cut food, take small bites and say please and thank you.
• Money and Banking: Consider giving your child an allowance to help with money skills. Another thought is having your child maintain his or her own wallet with an I.D. and some cash. Debit cards can be useful, as your child grows older.

The family is an integral part to helping children to transition to adult life!

ECLC of New Jersey Chatham School Staff:

Patty Keiling, Speech Language Pathologist; Rita Klimkowski, Classroom Assistant; Patricia Navarra, Classroom Teacher

Giving Tuesday!

Like nonprofits all across the country, today we are promoting the idea of Giving Tuesday! During this busy holiday season, we are hoping that our supporters will take a break from cyber-shopping, the malls and Main Streets to consider making a donation to our organization.

The generosity of private donations allows us to continue in our mission of serving more than 700 children and adults with special needs across our different entities.

Federal and state moneys can’t do it all. We created the ECLC Foundation to fill the gaps in our budget and bolster our schools and adult programs, so we can keep growing and innovating with the latest tools and technologies. Giving Tuesday is a chance for us to make a case for our terrific cause.

Our Occupational Therapist Named Best in New Jersey for Serving Students with Special Needs

Brandy Springer seems to do it all. As an occupational therapist at our school in Ho-Ho-Kus, Springer provides one-to-one therapy sessions for a large caseload of students every day. She created and teaches an after-school yoga program and incorporates yoga into the classroom and therapy. She manages special diets for dozens of students. She is a regular speaker at education conferences around the state, and she provides workshops for ECLC parents, covering topics, such as sensory integration, stress reduction and feeding and nutrition.

In addition to her many professional achievements, Springer embodies her sunny name. Like the season following winter, Springer lights up the room with her radiant smile and her warm personality can thaw the frostiest of hearts.

Those professional and personal qualities, coupled with her dedication and hard work, have brought Springer to the top of her profession as a school occupational therapist. She has been named New Jersey’s “Related Services Provider of the Year” by ASAH., a nonprofit that represents 135 private, special education schools and agencies serving students with disabilities across the state. Each year, the honor goes to an outstanding occupational therapist, physical therapist, social worker or speech therapist at one of ASAH’s member schools or agencies. Winners are chosen at the regional level, and then an overall state winner was selected during the ASAH conference in Atlantic City on Nov.15.

O.T. Brandy Springer was recognized by ASAH, a nonprofit that represents 135 private, special education schools and agencies serving students with disabilities across the state.

Springer has worked at ECLC of New Jersey’s special-needs school in Ho-Ho-Kus for five years and is a valued asset to the staff. “Brandy is the kind of person who is not only willing to take on challenges, but takes them on with enthusiasm, professionalism, and complete dedication,” said Ho-Ho-Kus Principal Vicki Lindorff. “Whenever a request is asked of Brandy, you can expect one of two answers: ‘Sure!’ or ‘No problem!’ She is the type of person who never says ‘No.’ ”

This award marks the third year in a row that ECLC of New Jersey’s school staff members have been recognized for excellence at the state level by ASAH. In 2013, one of ECLC’s veteran Chatham school teachers, Judy McGrath, was named the state’s “Educator of the Year,” and in 2012, Sharon Luberto, who is the physical therapist at ECLC’s school in Ho-Ho-Kus was named the “Related Services Provider of the Year.”

“We are so proud of Brandy for this recognition. Through her work at our school in Ho-Ho-Kus, she is making a tremendous difference in the lives of children with special needs every day. She also supports our staff, parents and other professionals in the field,” said ECLC Executive Director, Bruce Litinger. “We are so proud of her achievement.”

Springer is also giving back by passing on her expertise to students and colleagues in the field. She is a fieldwork supervisor for occupational therapy students from Eastwick College, Seton Hall University and Ithaca College, and she provides workshops through a grant from the state Department of Education, via Rutgers University, for the Safe Schools program at locations all over New Jersey. In addition, she was a co-presenter at the 2014 Council for Exceptional Children conference in Mahwah.

Tips on Behavior Management: Reinforcement v. Punishment

Contributed by Oksana Huk, ECLC Ho-Ho-Kus School Psychologist

The terms reinforcement and punishment are often used when discussing behavior management, but their definitions are often misunderstood.

Reinforcement is simply the attempt to increase a behavior; while punishment is the attempt to decrease a behavior. The term positive refers to giving something to someone, and the term negative refers to taking something away.

 When managing difficult behaviors the best approach is to withhold the reinforcement for the undesirable behavior and provide reinforcement for an alternative behavior. This way, a person’s needs can still be met, but by using a socially-desirable behavior.

So let’s take an example from the classroom. Suppose a student is repeatedly calling out in class. We might learn that the reason the student is calling out in class is to gain attention, and every time they gain attention for calling out, they are being positively reinforced for calling out.

If we want to decrease the frequency of calling out, rather than giving something aversive to the student or taking something desirable away, we would no longer provide the desired attention when they call out. If they don’t receive the reinforcement for calling out, they will stop calling out.

Notice that nothing is taken away from the student for calling out, nor is anything aversive given to the student. The behavior is not punished; it is just not reinforced.

Reinforcement is used rather than punishment, because it is always easier to reinforce a new behavior rather than punishing current behaviors! Very important, we also have to teach an alternative behavior. So if the student wants attention, we will teach them to raise their hand and give attention every time they raise their hand and positively reinforce that new behavior. With proper reinforcement, the behavior will continue over time.

	Reinforcement	Punishment
Positive	Giving something desirable to increase the frequency of a behavior(e.g., increasing the frequency that someone will eat vegetables by giving them dessert after they eat them)	Giving something aversive to decrease the frequency of a behavior(e.g., decreasing speeding in the future by giving a speeding ticket)
Negative	Taking something aversive away to increase the frequency of a behavior(e.g., increasing the frequency that someone will wear that seatbelt by taking away an annoying sound when they click their belt)	Taking something desirable away to decrease the frequency of behavior.(e.g., decreasing fighting between siblings by taking away toys)

New P.R.I.D.E. Center Opens for Adults with Special Needs — New Jersey Lt. Governor Kim Guadagno Helps Cut the Ribbon!

On. Oct. 1, we officially opened a new P.R.I.D.E. center for our adult clients with special needs, including autism, Down syndrome and other developmental disabilities, and recognized major donors who made the new center possible through their generosity.

The P.R.I.D.E. Center opened following a $450,000 capital campaign to transform a drab warehouse space into a cheery, bright center with activity rooms, a teaching kitchen, a model apartment, and a technology center. The center also includes a dedicated work area where adult clients earn a paycheck by completing contracted work, such as shredding and packaging, for local businesses.

A former ECLC Chatham school staff member, Toby Cooperman, and her husband, Leon, were instrumental in the campaign’s success. They donated a $125,000 challenge matching grant, which inspired others to give. This infusion of funds allowed ECLC to finish the campaign in a short six months.

The grand opening also highlighted October’s “National Disability Employment Awareness Month,” which recognizes the contributions of workers with disabilities. The theme for 2014 is “Expect. Employ. Empower.” With a nod to these three goals, P.R.I.D.E. Director, Dot Libman, said, “With this new center, we are truly able to fulfill what our acronym stands for: Promoting Responsibility, Independence, Decision-making and Employability. At P.R.I.D.E., we always look to empower our clients and look to support their capabilities and nurture their strengths.”

ECLC welcomed elected officials, including Lt. Gov. Kim Guadagno, for the milestone event. In her remarks, Guadagno applauded ECLC and said she came to the event because she wanted to “see happy people, getting what they need.” She said that after visiting 32 facilities like P.R.I.D.E what she has learned is, “The biggest pain, the biggest nightmare of a parent isn’t that these facilities exist, it’s that there aren’t enough of them. What will happen to my child when he ages out? What will happen to my child when I die? Those are the issues, and you’re dealing with them right here.”

State Senator and former Governor Richard Codey, Morris County Freeholder Deputy Director David Scapicchio, Morris County Freeholder Kathryn DeFillippo and Florham Park Mayor Mark Taylor all joined in the celebration and helped cut the ribbon.